Lymphoma Barbie

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Live your Life

by admin / May 21, 2016

There is a quote that reads “You’ve never lived until you’ve almost died. For those who have fought for it, life has a flavor the protected shall never know.” As horrible as it sounds, sometimes it takes fighting for your life, or seeing someone else fight for theirs, to be able to actually live, and appreciate life. We really don’t have much say about what happens to us in life, especially when you’re diagnosed with cancer, or when a traumatic…

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Radiation: finding strength in the struggle!

by admin / May 16, 2016

Radiation. It’s used to treat cancer with high energy waves to kill your tumors. In my case, areas are being treated, rather than the exact tumors. So, my neck, chest, abdomen, and spleen are being treated. Before treatment, you go through CT simulation, where your team makes you a mask that covers your head and neck, and determines which areas will be treated. When you begin radiation, you and your mask are strapped on to a table, so that you…

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My “normal” weekend!

by admin / May 7, 2016

Over the weekend, I had the most “normal” weekend since my diagnosis with cancer. One of my best friends from Boston came to visit me. I’m off of chemotherapy for now, since it stopped working as well as we thought it would. I’m waiting for my rad onc’s to plan my radiation, so I have been “in the clear” to get back to a semi normal life before radiation starts, hopefully next week. So this means I’m not Neutropenic!! And…

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Friends vs. Foes

by admin / May 4, 2016

One of the hardest things that you go through when you have Cancer is realizing who cares about you and who doesn’t and never did. Who is a good, genuine person, and who is not. At the beginning, people that you think would be part of your journey, are nowhere to be found. At first, you might become angered by this, but with time, your “cancer brain” I like to call it, comes into effect and you just don’t care.…

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It’s about them, not you

by admin / May 2, 2016

I am no match for some people’s level of ignorance, simply because I’m on another level. Over the weekend, I was in the elevator in my building with my dog, and talking to a woman in it. When I got out of the elevator (my body was literally half in the elevator still), another woman said to the other “That’s the sick girl, you know she’s sick. She looks it right?” Or something along those lines. Sorry for having cancer…

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Detours & speed bumps

by admin / April 28, 2016

Relapse. The word no cancer patient ever wants to hear. What does it feel like when you hear those words? Well I can’t exactly tell you, because I indirectly saw them on paper first. Last Friday, I got my second PET scan since my diagnosis. My first showed that I was in complete remission after two cycles of escalated BEACOPP. My results came back online the night before my scheduled chemo and Doctor’s appointment the next day. Deauville score 4.…

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Trust the Timing

by admin / April 25, 2016

Over the weekend, I was determined to get outside and exercise. Since I can’t go to the gym because of the port in my chest, I figured walking would be a better option for me. The neuropathy in my hands has become almost unbearable, and has now spread to my legs, making it extremely difficult for me to even walk. While trying to walk .5 miles, I managed to fall to the ground three times. 4 cycles of escalated chemo…

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No one Fights Alone

by admin / April 19, 2016

Chemo has a way of sneaking up on you. This is my off week of cycle 4, before 5. The fact that one day you feel good, and the other you feel horrible is an understatement. This morning I was woken up drenched in sweat, to shooting pain all over my body around 2am, to the point where it’s so unbareable that it actually almost makes you physically sick. My chemo off weeks are usually the worst weeks, where I’m…

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Alopecia Cancer Chemotherapy Fuck Cancer Hair Loss Hodgkin's Lymphoma Lymphoma Posts Remission Survivor

There’s no place like home

by admin / April 17, 2016

In life we find happiness in unexpected places. The universe throws us situations that will eventually lead us to what we define as “home”, which in my opinion is a feeling, not a person or a place. I’ve spent the last several years of my life always so preoccupied with what my next step would be, that I never really lived in the present. Ever. I was so career focused, and always wanted to be on top, always wondering what…

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Real chemo talk : trivial things

by admin / April 15, 2016

Trivial things. Before cancer, I used to care way too much. If someone didn’t like me, I cared. If someone had something negative to say about me, I cared. Now, if I cared about what every girl thought of me, I would never leave my condo! In my generation, a lot of women tend to feel threatened by other women. If someone is prettier than you, more intelligent than you, skinnier than you, more successful than you–they have something to…

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Older Posts

Newer Posts

Establishing Boundaries and Cancer

What I wish my physicians learned in med school

A cancer survivor’s life secrets, coming undone like a $2 sweater

30 things Cancer taught me by 30

Post Chemo Hair Growth Tips!

To my cancer fighters, I was you this time last year.

Always be kind.

Handle Scanxiety like a real MVP

No hair don’t care, no hair do care, do you boo boo!

2016 at a glance