• HOME
  • MY STORY
  • BOOK JESSICA
  • BUY BOOK
    • BARNES & NOBLE
    • AMAZON
JESSICA DECRISTOFARO JESSICA DECRISTOFARO
  • HOME
  • MY STORY
  • BOOK JESSICA
  • BUY BOOK
    • BARNES & NOBLE
    • AMAZON
Input your search keywords and press Enter.
Alopecia Cancer Chemotherapy Fuck Cancer Hair Loss Hodgkin's Lymphoma Lymphoma Survivor

Friends vs. Foes

by admin / May 4, 2016

One of the hardest things that you go through when you have Cancer is realizing who cares about you and who doesn’t and never did. Who is a good, genuine person, and who is not. At the beginning, people that you think would be part of your journey, are nowhere to be found. At first, you might become angered by this, but with time, your “cancer brain” I like to call it, comes into effect and you just don’t care. At all. It doesn’t even phase you. I’m sure EVERY single cancer patient and survivor can relate to this. I’m 4 months into my journey, and nothing phases me anymore, nothing at all. Once I realized that behavior like this is more about those people, and not me, I became free. “The best advice I can give you when dealing with me, is catch me while I care.” Sorry, but you’re SOL now, cancer has helped me truly not care. I am writing this post, because I feel like this is one of the top things that cancer patients complain about.

The most dangerous people that you have to have your guard up around, are the people that creep up out of nowhere with extremely insincere messages, once they realize how well you’re doing with handling your situation, and want to become a part of the outcome, not the process. Sorry, but where were you when my hair was falling out and I was so sick that I couldn’t walk? Or was having a breakdown when my cancer took a turn in an unexpected direction? Your cancer brain will allow you to spot these people real quick. True story, I had someone who came to visit me once in the hospital (no joke, sat there and didn’t even say one word, clearly didn’t want to be there at all. Why did you even bother coming? To check it off the list clearly) I haven’t heard from this person at all, we will call this person, “Person X”, only a few beyond insincere messages here and there. Once Person X saw how well I’m doing with handling my situation, and am an inspiration to others, Person X appeared out of guilt, to make himself feel better about not being there during the process. But..person X doesn’t want to hear about the reality of cancer, the relapsing, the horrible side effects of not being able to walk without face planting, and so forth. Person X will only reach out or reply out of convenience, or if it benefits him or her in some way, and to check this off the “so I don’t feel guilty” box. Real talk, if you have to convince and tell the cancer patient that you are only reaching out to them because you think it’s the “right thing to do”, you clearly never learned “right” from wrong, and just want to check this off of the list. Take a seat with that.

All cancer patients have multiple Person X’s in their life. The best advice that I can give you is send them love and light, and when they try to enter your life, run like hell! Run as fast as you can. Or, if you have foot drop like I do, speed walk! Ha! But for real, like I said in my previous post, this type of behavior isn’t about you, it’s about THEM. A lot of the time, people do things out of guilt because they know that what they did is wrong. Or they do nothing at all, both of these examples have nothing to do with you. I think Cancer is great in this aspect, because it really helps you filter the bad people out of your life. I have such a solid group of friends that have saved me during this journey. I only have good, genuine people in my circle. That’s it. And to those reading this who don’t have cancer, but know someone that does..a simple “how are you doing?” Goes a LONG way.

Find my book “Talk Cancer To Me” available at amazon here:

Facebook Comments Box
BEACOPPCancerchemotherapyHodgkin's LymphomalymphomaMotivationNo one fights alone
  • ♥71 1955 2
  • Read More
  • Previous PostIt’s about them, not you
  • Next PostMy “normal” weekend!

You Might Also Like

Keep Your Friends Close
April 14, 2016
The journey continues during Remission
October 20, 2016
How to breeze through chemotherapy!
May 2, 2018

2 Comments

Log in to Reply bastcilkdoptb August 18, 2016 at 8:25 am

Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a bad conclusion outstanding post! .

Log in to Reply Melisande Lourdes Balleste October 3, 2016 at 3:52 am

Very close to home. I remember reading this in your book. Concern about posting this but what the hell is true. I have people who have known me for for 10 years and less contact me than those who know me longer. Those who have known me longer. I can count with my hand.

Leave a Reply Cancel Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Latest Posts

  • Uncategorized December 18, 2019
    It’s OK to Leave People Behind
  • Uncategorized July 22, 2019
    FINESSE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE CANCER CENTER
  • Uncategorized February 17, 2019
    Dating after Cancer Part Deux
  • Uncategorized January 26, 2019
    Wig 101 for Beginners
  • Uncategorized January 1, 2019
    Post Chemo Hair Growth!

Blog Archives

  • December 2019
  • July 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • December 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
Instagram requires authorization to view a user profile. Use authorized account in widget settings

© 2016 Jessica Decristofaro | All Rights Reserved.