• HOME
  • MY STORY
  • BOOK JESSICA
  • BUY BOOK
    • BARNES & NOBLE
    • AMAZON
JESSICA DECRISTOFARO JESSICA DECRISTOFARO
  • HOME
  • MY STORY
  • BOOK JESSICA
  • BUY BOOK
    • BARNES & NOBLE
    • AMAZON
Input your search keywords and press Enter.
Alopecia Chemotherapy Fuck Cancer Hair Loss Hodgkin's Lymphoma Lymphoma Remission Survivor

Tuesday’s with Jessi 

by admin / April 5, 2016

I try to live as normal of a life as possible. So normal, that sometimes I completely forget that I have lymphoma. It’s 50% mental. I met an amazing girl on Instagram that follows my blog, she ended up living in Boston. My friend from Boston was visiting me, so I thought it would be perfect to have my friend deliver a small chemo care package to her before her first chemo session. As I was trying to write her a note, my neuropathy in my hands was so bad that I could barely write. To be honest, I couldn’t write at all. For the first time in awhile, it brought me to tears. I look completely normal, you would never guess that I have cancer, but I’m going through this battle that half of the world who doesn’t know me, wouldn’t even realize if they saw me on the street. Or even understand, for that matter. I let myself be sad for a few minutes then moved on. That’s what you have to do when you have cancer. You can let yourself be sad for a few minutes, then you put one foot in front of the other, handle it, and move on. There is really no other way in my opinion. Chemo sucks, I’m not going to downplay it. As I write this, I’m sitting in a chair, nauseous, attached to a machine that is administering me a bag full of chemo through a port in my chest. This is happening while all of my friends are at work. It’s the beginning of my quarter and there is no place that I would rather be than in the field doing my job as a rep. It sucks, but sometimes you have to turn lemons into lemonade. There is no point in sitting here and bitching about how horrible your symptoms are, especially with other people. I’m going to tell you that it’s the worst thing that you can do–to talk with other cancer patients and complain and contribute negative energy. It will only make your symptoms worse. Handle it, fight, and move on. It will be over before you know it.

Everyone is fighting a battle that we know nothing about. Everyone. I’ve been through a lot in the last few months, and I was really upset over someone complaining about having a specific skin condition. In my mind I was thinking, how can you even begin to compare this skin condition to cancer? If we rewind a few months back, the things that I complained about were so different than the things I complain about now, if I even complain at all..because at this point I’m just happy to be alive. Before Cancer, I think my biggest complaint was not having time after work to go get my nails done for my Vegas trip. God had another plan and decided to send my snotty ass to the ER instead, and give me a big wake up call that life is not all rainbows and butterflies. And I thank him every day that he did! Now my biggest complaint is not being able to write. Or not knowing if I’m going to be sick tomorrow after chemo. Or wanting to go back to work, but having to get more chemo cycles instead. I now think to myself how stupid it is that I was even upset with this person, because to him, having this skin condition IS a big deal, and I totally get it.

It’s also human nature to get mad over things that we know nothing about. And I still do it even with cancer, until I wake up and realize again, everyone is dealing with something that we know nothing about, including myself!  I was upset over the weekend because of a miscommunication with a friend. Miami is a sunny place for shady people, so the miscommunication caused me to jump to conclusions and be rude. Little did I know, that this person had something going on again..that I knew nothing about. Life is short, and way too short for miscommunications. Say what you mean and mean what you say, I need to do this as well. But the one positive thing that cancer has taught me is to chill and let sh*t go, and don’t dwell on it. That’s something that I have mastered. What happens, happens. Just keep moving forward. What’s meant to be will always be, and you should never have to chase people. Nothing can be forced..friendships, relationships, trying to fit in a pair of jeans that are a size too small..nothing! Before all of this, I used to care too much about everything. Now all I care about is being alive and being a good person. If I’m in the wrong I will apologize, but the right people who are meant to be in our lives will remain in them. 🙂

Find my book “Talk Cancer To Me” available at amazon here:

Facebook Comments Box
  • ♥93 2268 2
  • Read More
  • Previous PostDr. X-Ex’s-And other men
  • Next PostLife goes on during Chemo!

You Might Also Like

No hair don’t care, no hair do care, do you boo boo!
January 2, 2017
No one Fights Alone
April 19, 2016
Why you should always have cancer friends
August 12, 2017

2 Comments

Log in to Reply Michelle Baumgarten April 6, 2016 at 1:43 am

Jess,
My favorite midnight read.I want to come see you next time I’m in Miami. Your strength and words are so encouraging and makes me think about lots of things. Keep writing and I
Will keep reading. Love you and stay
Strong and beautiful.
Michelle B

Log in to Reply oliviakarpinski April 12, 2016 at 1:32 pm

Reblogged this on Live love laugh.

Leave a Reply Cancel Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Latest Posts

  • Uncategorized December 18, 2019
    It’s OK to Leave People Behind
  • Uncategorized July 22, 2019
    FINESSE YOUR WAY THROUGH THE CANCER CENTER
  • Uncategorized February 17, 2019
    Dating after Cancer Part Deux
  • Uncategorized January 26, 2019
    Wig 101 for Beginners
  • Uncategorized January 1, 2019
    Post Chemo Hair Growth!

Blog Archives

  • December 2019
  • July 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • July 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • December 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
Instagram requires authorization to view a user profile. Use authorized account in widget settings

© 2016 Jessica Decristofaro | All Rights Reserved.