02 May, 16

It’s about them, not you


I am no match for some people’s level of ignorance, simply because I’m on another level. Over the weekend, I was in the elevator in my building with my dog, and talking to a woman in it. When I got out of the elevator (my body was literally half in the elevator still), another woman said to the other “That’s the sick girl, you know she’s sick. She looks it right?” Or something along those lines. Sorry for having cancer lady, but I still look better than you, even with no hair. Just kidding!

Long hair, don't care!

Long hair, don’t care!

In all seriousness, It’s unfortunate, but when you have cancer, you’re stigmatized. Not only by people without cancer, but people with it too. I’ve created this blog as a source of support for others going through Cancer. It’s a tough journey, and I just want people to know that they aren’t alone. I share my story to help others know that it’s okay to share theirs too. With social media comes a lot of support, but also a lot of negativity. The most important thing I’ve learned from this journey is that in order to move forward, you need to do what’s best for YOU, not for everyone else, and take things that people say with a grain of salt. Basically you just have to learn how to not give a sh*t, which I have learned very quickly. I know who I am, I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I’ve learned not to care what people think, because at the end of the day, what others think is really more about them than you.

I receive a great deal of amazing messages from people through out the world daily, thanking me for sharing my story and my positive energy. I also receive a great deal from people criticizing me. Countless people have criticized me for wearing wigs to chemo, or to physical therapy, and saying my attitude is fake, because it’s not always possible to be so happy. You’re right, it’s not always possible to be happy 24/7. I had a break down the other day when I looked in the mirror and my eyebrows and eyelashes were gone. I had a break down when I was trying to walk and kept falling over from my leg drop. I’m not always happy 24/7, but being positive is a hell of a lot more productive than being negative. Being in a bad mood isn’t going to make me or anyone around me feel better. I always give myself time to be upset. We all fall down, we just need to pick ourselves up and keep moving. Do what’s best for you, if that means wearing a wig and makeup to chemo in order for you to feel better, then do it. Or if that means not wearing one, then do that. Do whatever you feel that you need to do in order to move forward.

Life is short, really short. We never know what tomorrow will bring. If people want to be ignorant, let them. If people want to be offended by you, let them. At the end of the day, it’s really about them, not you. You can’t control how other people act, but what you can control is how you react to them. I’ve learned that misery loves company. Whatever your situation is in life, people often become uncomfortable if you are surpassing what they want for their own lives,. Yes, sadly enough even if that means having fun while beating cancer with pride, joy, and dignity. Some people are just flat out mean, but that usually comes out because they are unhappy and suffering. Send these people light and love, and move on.

Find my book “Talk Cancer To Me” available at amazon here:

  1. Sandy Bruce says:

    Hi there. I am a friend of your mother and she told me about this blog of yours. Moving from top to bottom on your blog and enjoying every word. I had to comment on this post because I’m shocked anyone would care what your wore to chemo. Really? That one floored me for sure. When I took my friends to chemo or radiation I never thought about what they looked like – I worried what I could do to make them more comfortable and tried to keep their spirits up. Who are these people? I hope I never ride in the elevator with them. My ability to send light and love is limited on mean spirited morons. I’ll save mine for people like you. Sending…..

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